inspiration

It's About Practice

It's About Practice

It is About Practice

Thank you for following this 9-part journey so far. If you haven’t started from the beginning, you may want to consider starting here.

Today’s post is about how I approach my days now and the first steps in practicing awareness throughout your days.

Instead of my days being full of blame and denial, I open myself to actually looking at my blind spots. Sometimes I am shown through others and sometimes I have the awareness to see it myself. It’s not that we shouldn’t get upset, it’s that we don’t need to justify it.

After a lot of mind-training,

Not Hiding My Shadows to Allow the Miracle

Not Hiding My Shadows to Allow the Miracle

Not Hiding My Shadows to Allow the Miracle

When I allowed myself to get still, I started to get in touch with how vast my self-hatred was. I had never realized how unhappy I felt nor had I realized how addicted I was to feel bad. It was as if my joy and happiness were not a priority. I really thought I wanted to love, but my life showed me all of the resistance I had.

I was tired of having to judge who I could give love to and trust and who I had to avoid. Every time I created that distance from whomever or whatever I was judging, I felt much more distant from my own heart and more distant from my own joy. It was as if I had a wide mosaic of enemies surrounding me, constantly on-guard in case any of those voracious and unscrupulous beasts would steal my well-being. I was a victim of my own beliefs, ideas, and interpretations.

As I started to become

The need for vigilance, observing the ego mind.

The need for vigilance, observing the ego mind.

Thank you for joining me this far for part 6 of 9. If you are just reading this now, you may want to start at part 1. Or not!

As we saw with my example, it is so easy to get caught up in our perceptions before we spiral out of control. A miracle is always awaiting us, but it is impossible for us to accept it when we are on autopilot. In my own path, I have learned the importance of being very aware of the fear mind taking over.

Often we place the responsibility of our joy to something or someone else. It’s rare that we are taught that we have the ability to change our whole experience from within ourselves. We are used to playing the blame game, and that never leads us to peace. With this mindset, we pretend to

From Victimhood to Freedom

From Victimhood to Freedom

I went from being a victim of the world to accepting a 100% responsibility for all that I was experiencing.

Now, I have heard several authors and speakers say that we repeat situations when we haven’t learned all the lessons that the situation has to offer. Recognizing that I was repeating the pattern of feeling upset after a happy day, I had to ask myself what lessons did I still need to learn? What are the positive teachings of this experience in my life?

Of course, I saw a part of my mind saying "I’m not learning anything from having a bad day.” It was interesting to observe this thought, but I wanted to be really honest with myself. So I got quiet and sincerely asked what I was still learning from experiencing upset and conflict.

What I found

One day up, One day down.

One day up, One day down.

One day up, One day down.

part 2 of 9

I had been with my partner Paulette for two years, and we had gone through a lot of experiences, healings, and journeys together. One day we had such a magical day, where everything was flowing easily and gracefully. I woke up the next morning, and everything was pissing me off. Nothing about the environment was different from the day before- the kitchen was the same, the food was the same, the weather was the same, etc. But I was very upset at everything and anything. Seeing the smallest thing like an unwashed mug in the sink created an explosion of rage within me, and that seemed to affect the whole day. I knew this all too well, that I would hold onto this feeling for the whole day. Everything that crossed my path became the perfect excuse to project all of my upsets.

At some point, Paulette asked me, “Did you notice that every day after a fun and happy day, you seem to get upset? I’ve never seen you happy two days in a row.”

This conversation made me stop and reflect on my life.